Even if we don’t want to be, many of us recognise that we are people-pleasers. We accept invitations to parties we don’t want to attend, coffee runs that aren’t part of our work description, and weekend trips with friends we can’t afford. How To Set Better Boundaries : 5 Tips For People Pleasures?
In these scenarios, it is essential to set better boundaries, especially for people pleasures. You continue to play the people-pleaser role despite not wanting to because you don’t want to upset people’s feelings. You don’t want others to believe you’re obnoxious or disrespectful.
The issue is, if you continue to do things out of fear or obligation, you’re essentially insulting yourself.
However, you must set time and energy limitations. There’s no reason to waste your emotional, mental, and physical resources on something that doesn’t reflect your ideals.
Setting limits may appear to be frightening, yet it allows you to spend time doing what you enjoy. You are not stuffy or dull because you have boundaries. They give you the freedom to live life on your own terms, which is the most freeing and thrilling thing you can do.
Boundaries are better to make than being depressed and affected by others interference in your life. How To Set Better Boundaries : 5 Tips For People Pleasures?
Lets start with some tips to set better boundaries for people pleasures!!!
1 Set your priorities
Having your priorities crystal clear means you are ready to go. It’s time to change if you’re continually putting other people’s priorities ahead of your own. Your time is a limited and valuable resource. You not only buy a one-way ticket to exhaustion and dissatisfaction if you try to please everyone; you also deprive yourself the pleasure and growth that comes from focusing on what you value. Make sure you’re not saying no to yourself the next time you say yes to someone. Make a list of your priorities and compare it to where you spend your time and energy to see if you need to make any changes.
Some tips to set your priorities:
- Create a leadership philosophy that is unique to you.
- Recognise your strengths and weaknesses.
- Make a list of your goals and aspirations.
- Create a plan that will help you attain your objectives.
- Allow challenges to MAKE you.
- Take breaks and analyse your work.
- Make a list of your priorities.
2. Feel Comfortable in Uncomfort Zone
When confronted with a personal boundary, you may feel uneasy, terrified, guilty, or nervous if you aren’t used to asserting your boundaries. Allow yourself time and space to develop your tolerance. Breathing techniques, meditation, or talking with a trusted friend or therapist may also help you feel better.
It won’t be simple to embrace discomfort, but it’s vital if you want to experience personal progress. Recognize the things that make you uncomfortable and understand how they make you feel is the first step.
This will help you figure out what kinds of experiences you should seek out. Ignore others and be calm and delighted. Let’s move ahead with How To Set Better Boundaries : 5 Tips For People Pleasures.
3. Take Pauses
If you’re ever caught off guard by someone crossing a line and don’t know what to say, give yourself permission to come back to the conversation after you’ve taken some time to reflect and refocus.
The art of intentional pausing is a skill that takes time to master and gets simpler with practise. Mindfulness, writing, or any other type of self-reflective practise can help you create more space before responding.
Also Read: Importance of Taking Pauses
Don’t let others persuade you to do something you don’t want to do. It is possible to be both friendly and firm at the same time. Your friends may be disappointed that you won’t be able to attend the party, but they should understand and appreciate your decision.
4. Believe your Gut Feeling
Use your instincts to assist you in making judgments. You don’t have to say yes just to prevent hurting someone’s feelings. If you’re having trouble deciding whether to say yes or no to someone, take some time to consider your options.
When you don’t want to do something, practise saying no. You are not required to provide an explanation or an excuse. Saying No can bring you inner peace and you can work harder .
Also Read: Saying No to achieve inner peace
Develop clarity about what you’ll do if someone frequently violates your boundaries.
The old adage “trust your gut” refers to believing your gut impulses as a way of staying true to yourself. Following your intuition will almost always lead you down the right road for you.
5. Communicate with clarity and respect others boundaries
When you set a boundary, those who are controlling, manipulative, abusive, or who have unhealthy boundaries themselves may be triggered. You can be compassionate while expressing your limits, but it is not your responsibility to make things okay for them.
Don’t let others persuade you to do something you don’t want to do. It is possible to be both friendly and firm at the same time. Your friends may be disappointed that you won’t be able to attend the party, but they should understand and appreciate your decision.
Boundaries are generally mental, emotional, or physical barriers that you set between yourself and another person in order to coexist happily.
People frequently communicate their personal boundaries to us through both physical and verbal signs. Take note of whether they take a step back, avoid eye contact, or appear uneasy. Of course, everyone is different, and their cues will communicate and signify different things to them.